Lily's 3

" I feel as if I have been called on to guard the moon herself. A moon with dimples and a tiny crooked grin. A moon with the sweetest scent emanating from the soft spot on the top of her round head-a smell sweeter than honey or flowers. How do you do this? How do you safely carry the moon around on this earth?" That is the closest I can come to describing how I felt when Lily was born this day, three years ago. Now I feel so many things. First, I am in awe at how fast time really goes. Seems like yesterday she was Charlie's age. Secondly, I am so in love with my daughter that it scares me. I need her in my life like I need air. She gives me so much and is so much more than I could have ever imagined. She is so beautiful and funny, complex and compassionate, fearless and strong and she is only three. It takes my breath away to see what Travis' and my love made, she is a mirror of us both.

I can not think of a more appropriate birthday for my angel than Christmas Day. She has taught me so much about love, forgiveness, and what it is to be family. It's hard for me to even write this as I know I will never be able to find the words to say how much I love her and what joy she has and continues to bring to my life.

The above quote is an excerpt from a book Travis brought me when I was expecting Lily. I have never forgotten it and went searching for it a few days ago. I have been watching a few home movies lately and cannot believe the changes that come from year to year. Travis and I look the same but the children, especially Lily, are completely different. Part of my heart wants to freeze time and keep her just as she is in this moment and the other part wants to watch her continue on because with everyday that passes she becomes this amazing, witty, little girl. I know that one day Lily, you will read this and I want you to know how happy you make me and how full my heart is. I could not ask for more. You are beautiful inside and out and your mommy loves you all the way to the moon and back. Happy Birthday, lovey! Always yours...Mommy